As one who suffers from “perfectionism”, I frequently put off doing things I love because I don’t have enough time. Translation: my ideal is to do “the thing” without interruption. So, if I only have 15 minutes to do “the thing” then I might as well not bother.
Am I the only one like that? (please say no…)
It kind of goes hand in hand with “if I can’t do it whole-hog, I might as well not do it.” It’s like punishing ourselves for being responsible and completely cutting ourselves off from the things we enjoy because at the end of our long list of adult tasks, we only have a few minutes for what we love.
And it’s not always feasible to change that — to reject our responsibilities in favor of some indulgence.
But it also isn’t right.
As part of the Challenge, my struggle has been to find the time for the horse I want to learn from. I end up riding where my responsibilities dictate — Wrigley because I’m guiding tours or Axel because DAMMIT AXEL!!! Or Jersey because she needs to get her head on straight for the season, or DAMMIT AXEL! I’m going to change his name to DAMMIT AXEL!
The Challenge has been good for getting my priorities back on straight — for helping me prioritize. We’re supposed to ride 30 rides, for a total of 40 hours, in 3 months. If I’d chosen Wrigley or Dammit Axel for the Challenge I’d have been done in January, but my skill set would remain pretty stagnant.
So, it’s interesting. When I had a “desk job”, riding wasn’t always a priority for me and I was bummed at how little I rode. Then when this became more and more a “viable business” and I was riding more, I find myself bummed at how little I dedicate to the type of riding I love.
And that’s always followed up with a bunch of self-doubt — is it because I’m too lazy? Bad at scheduling? Unproductive?
Meanwhile, I know that if I just spend a little time, on a regular basis, I can experience huge growth — which is what I want when doing the things I love. In fact, I think I get more done in 15 minutes for 5 days in a row than one day for an hour and 15 minutes.
Huh.
Anyway, this is a lot of rambling to just say that it truly is a challenge to do what we love, and the way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.
